I want need this to be a lifestyle thing. Crash diets, fasting, purging, and the like may work for a few weeks or months. But the day you stop the destructive behavior, you gain all the weight back. I want to be skinny, fit, and beautiful for life, not for a few years.

I guess right now the biggest thing is I am not comfortable in my body. I hide it under baggy clothing. I hate changing for gym class. I hate walking in the hallways. I feel like everyone is judging how large I am. I want people to look at me and say wow she is beautiful, and not the kind of beautiful they mean when they say “She is Curvy”. The kind of beauty that no one can deny. No one can say “she is too skinny” because it won’t be true. I will be fit, toned, and healthy.

Also with college coming up next year I really need to solidify my new healthy habits. I can’t afford to put on the “freshman fifteen”.

This is my youth, and it is almost over. I am 18, I only have a good 6 years left really and I want to spend them confident. I don’t want to hide anymore, I want the world to see what I have become.

And you know what? Even when I am 30 I still want to have a kick-ass body. I want my future husband to look at me every day and still say “damn” not “I miss the younger her”. I will be fit forever.